The Unspoken Truth Of Transracial Adoption

Being adopted isn’t always the happy ending people expect. I know this all too well as a transracial adoptee. Growing up in a family where I never felt emotionally or culturally safe has shaped my perspective. My non-adopted siblings resented me, making me the outsider the one who didn’t belong. That feeling of isolation was a constant presence in my life.

When adoptees like me try to share our experiences, we often find ourselves ignored. Society craves the feel good stories, the narratives that paint adoption as simple and beautiful. However, the reality is that not all adoptions are positive experiences. This truth can be uncomfortable for those who haven’t lived it.

Yet, we, the adoptees, are speaking out anyway.

In my case, there was no oversight during my adoption. No one checked to see if I was safe or how I was being treated. No child should have to endure racial slurs in their own home, but I did. I am not alone in this; many transracial adoptees have faced similar challenges in families disconnected from the culture of their adopted children. My adoptive family didn’t plan for my cultural needs, and I was kept from my heritage.

I vividly remember the pain of growing up in predominantly white neighborhoods that didn’t welcome me. I was greeted not with friendship, but with a chorus of racial slurs. What I thought were new friendships quickly turned into reminders of my outsider status. At home, I had no one to turn to who understood or cared. I often question the true reason behind my adoption, as it felt anything but loving. Instead, it was a painful environment where I had to learn to adapt often without any choice in the matter.

This is why we need real adoption reform. Not just paperwork and empty promises, but systems that genuinely protect adoptees. Oversight shouldn’t end once the adoption is finalized. Safety should never be assumed; it must be ensured.

I’m sharing my story because I want change. I want Transracial adoptees to be safe, seen, and truly heard. It’s vital that people listen not just to the polished better life narratives, but to the painful ones too.

Adoptees, we are here. We are speaking.

I feel adoption Reform is a priority for the Safety and wellbeing of Adoptees.